Sure they can blame it on Tivo, the Internet, etc...

but the real reason people are running away from Lost in droves is because it sucks. In today's show, I watched in complete bafflement as Freckles recalls the time a woman befriended her and helped her go talk to her mom "because something good has to happen to one of us"? Huh? The storyline was so completely perposterous and just plain silly that I had a hard time imagining some producer reading the script for the show and saying "yep. this thing's done. let's shoot it." but clearly that's what was decided--because they did shoot it. (which is funny because while it was on i kept wishing someone would shoot me).

by the way, is it just me or did the multicultural Lost become as white as white can be this season? why do they keep killing and/or getting rid of those who aren't white. The only non-whites left are Iraqi dude (who gets very little screen time) and the Japanese couple (who get very little screen time). Sad.

last thing, every time I see the fat guy I wish someone would jab a fork in my eye. He is quite possibly the most annoying character on any show I have ever seen. Ever.

And you still think Lost doesn't SUCK?!?

...did you see the episode where the Fat Man and British Dude drive a van down a hill?!? I'm talking about an entire hour long episode! One entire hour of my life is now gone...gone forever...and i spent it watching a fat man and a british dude argue about, agree to and finally drive a fucking van down a fucking hill.

and what about the very next episode? did you see that one? half of the episode was devoted to Freckles, Iraqi dude and Bald Man wrestle with a one eyed Russian. as dopey as that sounds, you won't believe what the other half was devoted to...you simply won't believe it. i think they actually stole the plot line for it from an episode of Gilligan's Island. Get this--long haired dude plays ping pong against Fat Man and if long haired dude wins they have to give him back all of his stuff that they took from him but if he loses, ohmygod you won't believe what happens if he loses...if he loses he can't call anyone by a nickname for a week! a whole week--no nicknames! it's like that awesome episode of the Brady Bunch where Greg has to cart Peter around with him everywhere he goes (even on a date!) because Peter beat Greg in a game of badminton. Did you hear me?! I said: Peter beat Greg in a game of badminton! And Peter's like THREE YEARS YOUNGER than Greg!! So you're not gonna believe who wins the ping pong game--no, not the virile, athletic long haired dude. NO! The Fat Man wins and I'm pretty sure he beats him 11 zip: the mercy rule took effect! the mercy rule! and the fat man is fat! yet he still beat the long-haired dude! DID YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? I said the fat man, who is very fucking fat, beat the long-haired dude, who is very fucking thin and healthy, 11 to nothing in a game of ping pong!!! Are you fucking listening to me?! You godamn fucking asshole!!!

Why I HATE LOST PART II

I forgot to mention that substory about the Lady Doctor which in the space of about 10 minutes explains the whole reason she and the others are on that goddamn island. And all of it is so awfully telegraphed that you know what's gonna happen a few commercial breaks before it does.

Good Lady Doctor tells Company Shrouded in Mystery President (hmmm, wonder if Company Shrouded in Mystery is going to turn out to be the reason she's on the island?) that the only way she can get away from her husband is if he gets hit by a bus--enter loud music: DUM DUM DUM!!! (could it be that Company Shrouded in Mystery is so powerful that they'll be able to have her husband get hit by bus? could it be...?)

Well the answer to both questions is revealed about 5 minutes later and the answer just happens to be DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH....(yes).

Just so we're on the same page--they explain why she and her whack job friends are on the island (THE FUCKING ISLAND for christ's sake) in about TEN MINUTES.

Now here's the real problem with this show in a nutshell--it's too GODDAMN POPULAR! if it weren't so popular i wouldn't care...but the fact that it's SO GODDAMN POPULAR is the reason that the writers and producers cynically know that they CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING AND THEIR MINDLESS FANS WILL JUST GO--"COOOOOOOL." (or... that was cool, dude)

So they do--they write whatever they want whenever they want to without thinking about it for even a second--cause they've got to get back to their coke and hookers straightaway.

You know, maybe the real problem i have with the show isn't that it SUUUUUCCCCKKKKSS, but that I'm jealous. What a great job: writing whatever garbage falls out of your ass, having that garbage be wildly popular and snorting coke and fucking hookers all day and night. What could be better?

P.S. My list of top ten jobs in the world to follow sometime soon...

Why I Hate Lost

I know this goes against everything that's good and right about America, but I hate LOST. I HATE LOST.

And here's why.

The last two seasons I hated LOST because it was a show where nothing NOTHING ever happened--and yet people I knew, people I know, would debate what happened on the show as if SOMETHING happened. But NOTHING ever happened. NOTHING. In fact, I can guarantee you that the writers of that show never had a clue as to what they were writing. NOT A CLUE. (and they were laughing all the way to the bank)

But now in the third season the reason I HATE LOST has changed. Now I hate LOST because, I'm sure due to pressure from network suits, they started to write episodes where things happen. The problem is--the writer you hire to write about nothing is not the same writer you should hire to write about something.

By that I mean to say that the people they've got writing Lost couldn't write their way out of a paper bag. In this third season, "The Season Where Something Happens," the crap they've been throwing on the screen would be LAUGHED at LOUDLY if it appeared in a movie or even a TV show. For example, Jack is operating on that GUY and then says he did something so that the guy only has an hour to live. The guy is bleeding to death but somehow, as long as he starts operating within an hour, the guy will be okay. What about the massive loss of blood? Isn't that a wee problem? But let's not dwell on that ridiculousness...in the middle of the guy bleeding to death, he wakes up "because Jack is a surgeon not an anaesthesiologist." The guy WAKES UP!?! WHAT?!? Is he Zeus?

I won't even discuss all the pummelling of people in the head which resulted in nothing more than a few minutes of sleepy time, and all of the shooting at close range and missing (because most shows/movies do that), but how about that daughter lady showing up just at the right time to save Freckles and Long Hair Dude? Huh?!?

And then to top it off, Freckles recounts the story about Jack saving that girl after counting to five and she's balling her eyes out and then she leaves with long hair dude and Crazy Boy. Was this supposed to be a moving scene? If so, why? What the fuck was so moving about hearing a story for a second time that wasn't moving the first goddamn time? Did we have to hear that lame ass story twice?

You know, the writers really ought to stick to the stuff where nothing happens--they're way better at nothing than something.