I forgot to mention that substory about the Lady Doctor which in the space of about 10 minutes explains the whole reason she and the others are on that goddamn island. And all of it is so awfully telegraphed that you know what's gonna happen a few commercial breaks before it does.
Good Lady Doctor tells Company Shrouded in Mystery President (hmmm, wonder if Company Shrouded in Mystery is going to turn out to be the reason she's on the island?) that the only way she can get away from her husband is if he gets hit by a bus--enter loud music: DUM DUM DUM!!! (could it be that Company Shrouded in Mystery is so powerful that they'll be able to have her husband get hit by bus? could it be...?)
Well the answer to both questions is revealed about 5 minutes later and the answer just happens to be DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH....(yes).
Just so we're on the same page--they explain why she and her whack job friends are on the island (THE FUCKING ISLAND for christ's sake) in about TEN MINUTES.
Now here's the real problem with this show in a nutshell--it's too GODDAMN POPULAR! if it weren't so popular i wouldn't care...but the fact that it's SO GODDAMN POPULAR is the reason that the writers and producers cynically know that they CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING AND THEIR MINDLESS FANS WILL JUST GO--"COOOOOOOL." (or... that was cool, dude)
So they do--they write whatever they want whenever they want to without thinking about it for even a second--cause they've got to get back to their coke and hookers straightaway.
You know, maybe the real problem i have with the show isn't that it SUUUUUCCCCKKKKSS, but that I'm jealous. What a great job: writing whatever garbage falls out of your ass, having that garbage be wildly popular and snorting coke and fucking hookers all day and night. What could be better?
P.S. My list of top ten jobs in the world to follow sometime soon...
Showing posts with label nothing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nothing. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Why I Hate Lost
I know this goes against everything that's good and right about America, but I hate LOST. I HATE LOST.
And here's why.
The last two seasons I hated LOST because it was a show where nothing NOTHING ever happened--and yet people I knew, people I know, would debate what happened on the show as if SOMETHING happened. But NOTHING ever happened. NOTHING. In fact, I can guarantee you that the writers of that show never had a clue as to what they were writing. NOT A CLUE. (and they were laughing all the way to the bank)
But now in the third season the reason I HATE LOST has changed. Now I hate LOST because, I'm sure due to pressure from network suits, they started to write episodes where things happen. The problem is--the writer you hire to write about nothing is not the same writer you should hire to write about something.
By that I mean to say that the people they've got writing Lost couldn't write their way out of a paper bag. In this third season, "The Season Where Something Happens," the crap they've been throwing on the screen would be LAUGHED at LOUDLY if it appeared in a movie or even a TV show. For example, Jack is operating on that GUY and then says he did something so that the guy only has an hour to live. The guy is bleeding to death but somehow, as long as he starts operating within an hour, the guy will be okay. What about the massive loss of blood? Isn't that a wee problem? But let's not dwell on that ridiculousness...in the middle of the guy bleeding to death, he wakes up "because Jack is a surgeon not an anaesthesiologist." The guy WAKES UP!?! WHAT?!? Is he Zeus?
I won't even discuss all the pummelling of people in the head which resulted in nothing more than a few minutes of sleepy time, and all of the shooting at close range and missing (because most shows/movies do that), but how about that daughter lady showing up just at the right time to save Freckles and Long Hair Dude? Huh?!?
And then to top it off, Freckles recounts the story about Jack saving that girl after counting to five and she's balling her eyes out and then she leaves with long hair dude and Crazy Boy. Was this supposed to be a moving scene? If so, why? What the fuck was so moving about hearing a story for a second time that wasn't moving the first goddamn time? Did we have to hear that lame ass story twice?
You know, the writers really ought to stick to the stuff where nothing happens--they're way better at nothing than something.
And here's why.
The last two seasons I hated LOST because it was a show where nothing NOTHING ever happened--and yet people I knew, people I know, would debate what happened on the show as if SOMETHING happened. But NOTHING ever happened. NOTHING. In fact, I can guarantee you that the writers of that show never had a clue as to what they were writing. NOT A CLUE. (and they were laughing all the way to the bank)
But now in the third season the reason I HATE LOST has changed. Now I hate LOST because, I'm sure due to pressure from network suits, they started to write episodes where things happen. The problem is--the writer you hire to write about nothing is not the same writer you should hire to write about something.
By that I mean to say that the people they've got writing Lost couldn't write their way out of a paper bag. In this third season, "The Season Where Something Happens," the crap they've been throwing on the screen would be LAUGHED at LOUDLY if it appeared in a movie or even a TV show. For example, Jack is operating on that GUY and then says he did something so that the guy only has an hour to live. The guy is bleeding to death but somehow, as long as he starts operating within an hour, the guy will be okay. What about the massive loss of blood? Isn't that a wee problem? But let's not dwell on that ridiculousness...in the middle of the guy bleeding to death, he wakes up "because Jack is a surgeon not an anaesthesiologist." The guy WAKES UP!?! WHAT?!? Is he Zeus?
I won't even discuss all the pummelling of people in the head which resulted in nothing more than a few minutes of sleepy time, and all of the shooting at close range and missing (because most shows/movies do that), but how about that daughter lady showing up just at the right time to save Freckles and Long Hair Dude? Huh?!?
And then to top it off, Freckles recounts the story about Jack saving that girl after counting to five and she's balling her eyes out and then she leaves with long hair dude and Crazy Boy. Was this supposed to be a moving scene? If so, why? What the fuck was so moving about hearing a story for a second time that wasn't moving the first goddamn time? Did we have to hear that lame ass story twice?
You know, the writers really ought to stick to the stuff where nothing happens--they're way better at nothing than something.
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