All The Books Say That...

Whenever my wife or me want to silence the other one on some child raising debate, we simply use the phrase, "All the books say that...."

For example, when I gave my daughter a carrot, my wife definitely did not want me to do that again (even though she seemed fine munching away on it) and so she said, "All the books say that you shouldn't give carrots to one year olds." Now I don't know, maybe a lot of books really do say that--but ALL the books. We only really have one book that we look at (the Pediatricians Guide to blah blah blah) so I'm not even sure how she could have read ALL the books.

But I do the same thing--but the difference is that I haven't read any books...ever. so when i say "All the books say that..." what I really mean is "I never read anything but take my word for it..."

So anyway, here's my top five "All the books say that..." comments. These are all things I have either said or would have liked to have said...

5. All the books say that lots and lots of tv is good for your kids
4. All the books say that it's okay to go to a bar while your kids are in bed
3. All the books say that if your kids won't stop screaming at each other during a long roadtrip, you should go ahead and set them on the curb and continue with your long roadtrip.
2. All the books say that you should heavily sedate your children before taking them on a cross-country airplane flight.
1. All the books say that sending your three year-old to get you a six pack and the latest issue of Playboy can be a great rainy day activity.